didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
