sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
