I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
