Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
