Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
