Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
