is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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