did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
