id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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