why didn't you poke me back
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
