Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
