I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
