you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
