Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
