Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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