2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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