she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
