in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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