Don't make out with my wife yet
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
