How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize