My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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