is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize