Dual....:-)
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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