GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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