Even water is tasting like jack daniels
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize