So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize