so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
