dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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