good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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