so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
