Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
