Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
