Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
