I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
