This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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