Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
