roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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