So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
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Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I deserve this hangover.