I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.