I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm home, then i'll come over
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.