Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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