I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
