When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I deserve this hangover.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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