i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
