Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
