She's JV to your varsity
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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