I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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