I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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