she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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