I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
that's an acceptable place to lick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
