just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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