between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just found a bag of teeth...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
