Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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