By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
