I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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