I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
