That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
