I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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