Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
