Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
