They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
