Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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