And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
