So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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