dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.