is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place