Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it