can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
